Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
