I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
