loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
