"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
