You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
