I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
