Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
