Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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