so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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