a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
