Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
