maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
