wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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