i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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