Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
