Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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