Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
