let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
