Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
