i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
