he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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