Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
