that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
