i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
