Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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