I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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