WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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