Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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