sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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