you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
not ubering you a puppy
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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