me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
