Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Randomize