can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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