Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize