im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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