So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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