I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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