apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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