Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Randomize
