My hair reeks of homosexuality.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
