I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
