you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
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