white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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