when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
