Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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