Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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