...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
