Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
