apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
did you just send me my own nude
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
