Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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