What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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