we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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