oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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