Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
