The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
