i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
