We won't sleep together?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
