Got a toothbrush?
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
