Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
