Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I lost the right to judge tonight
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
