So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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