I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
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I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
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LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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