Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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